6178: The Battle of Tukayyid, 3052 (colorized)
| The Battle of Tukayyid, 3052 (colorized) |
![]() Made by: Scolopendra, the Timperator of Mankind |
Explanation[edit | edit source]
The author writes:[edit | edit source]
Hail, Timperial citizens! Everyone else has invoked Rule 34G to shoehorn their fandoms into submissions, so now I, your Timperator, do so as well! For the last thirty-five or so years I have played BattleTech, the tabletop wargame of giant stompy robots, the first golden age of which was back in the '80s and '90s like our dear fat cat. Y'all more likely know of it from the MechWarrior series of simulation computer games. In the frankly quite excessive future-historical lore to the game,
[absurd data dump excised by ComStar ROM]
and so in 3049 the Clans invaded the Inner Sphere and were only stopped by Precentor Martial Anastasius Focht of ComStar abusing their honor code on Tukayyid in 3052 by using their absurd bidding process to get them into a real battle as fought by people who'd been spending the last quarter of a millennium practicing total war to kick each other's teeth in. Jon here plays the role of Focht, who is, in the fandom, a memetic badass... which makes for a nice change of pace for Garfield's owner. The mouse is some random Clan Star Colonel, doesn't matter who, and the 75-ton BattleMech is a 75-ton BattleMech. If you must have a Garfield, assume he's a Mechwarrior piloting the 'Mech.
Any Clanners out there will note that Tukayyid was not a complete curbstomp as depicted and it only delayed Clan Wolf's conquest of Terra to 3151. Don't batchall me, sib, I'll cry about how I'm just a widdle enby and it's my birthday whilst furiously computing artillery fire missions.
Black Knight traced from a drawing by Chris Lewis.
Clan Daggerstar from BattleTechWiki.
Original strip: 2011-11-19.
Transcript[edit | edit source]
{Daily three-panel with a surprisingly consistent very light wall in the background. In this strip, Jon plays the part of Precentor Martial Anastasius Focht with long but thinning silver-blond hair, a white uniform with gold trim, and a black eyepatch over his right eye. In the first panel, the grey Mouse has appeared, bearing his little flag. The mouse has the distinctive green-glowing tattoos of Enhanced Imaging implants on his cheek and brow; he looks angry as he points at Jon Focht, and his flag is grey with a red star - eight pointed and very sharp, like a starburst, but with the bottom point much longer than all the others}
Star Colonel Mouse: I declare this house property of the Clans!
{Jon Focht looks down at the Mouse, surprised}
{Second panel. Jon's taken on a half-lidded expression of dull surprise as the massive blue beam of a particle projector cannon smashes through the background wall, casting him in hard light and shadow, as it completely wipes out the Ledge (and general vicinity) where Star Colonel Mouse was standing}
{Third panel. There is now a massive hole in the background wall, opening up to a pretty blue sky, some rolling green hills, and behind the nearest hill stands a white-painted BL-6-KNT Black Knight BattleMech (it looks like, well, an armored knight but 13 meters tall) with steam wafting from the barrel of its particle cannon. A black silhouette of a person stands next to it for scale. Jon Focht's uninterested look has only intensified}
Jon Focht: Darn pests.
