4945: Cat Destruction is Now Our Slogan

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Cat Destruction is Now Our Slogan
4945.png
Made by: Muk


Explanation[edit | edit source]

The author writes:[edit | edit source]

When you think about it, Garfield has plenty of reasons to not be happy with his life. Jon relentlessly insults him, sometimes completely unprovoked. Garfield's memories get slowly more hateful throughout the comic, ranging from insults, to Jon outright wanting Garfield gone, then dead, to physical violence. Garfield then realizes the true motivation behind his sleeping and eating habits: to escape Jon. It's depressing, but it's true.

Original strips: 1978-07-24, 1979-09-24, 1980-01-20, 1981-03-21, 1981-03-29, 1983-03-01, 1983-09-18, 1985-12-13, 1986-02-14, 1987-07-18, 1990-07-08, 1990-12-22, 1996-08-21, 1999-07-04, 2000-07-31, 2000-09-20, 2003-05-02, 2003-10-20, 2004-03-21, 2004-11-02, 2007-04-16, 2008-01-16, 2008-02-02, 2008-03-20, 2008-06-21, 2008-07-15, 2008-08-03, 2011-11-27, 2012-01-06, 2012-04-19.

Transcript[edit | edit source]

Jon: Garfield, do you love me?
Garfield: Let me check
{Garfield walks away}
{In an empty room, Garfield recalls his life with Jon. The comics are grayscale in Garfield's flashback}
Jon: Garfield, why are you so fat?
Jon: All hail His Highness, Prince Fat Slob!
Jon: I don't think Garfield has a heart
Jon: Garfield, you're a fat, arrogant, lazy pig.
Jon: The planetarium called... your stomach is replacing Pluto as the ninth planet!
{Jon is reading a book}
Garfield: Totally ignoring my needs
Jon: Wanna smell my beef breath?
Garfield: You're a cruel, cruel man
Jon: I could tell you a thing or two about what's wrong with you
Jon: Oh, joy. I get to spend another day with you. I'll try to control my excitement
SFX: POKE POKE POKE
Jon: You're... not... so... smart!
Jon: I don't suppose you'll be moving today?
Jon: Still breathing, I see
Jon: I wonder what life would be like without you
Jon: I wonder if I'd miss you if you went away
{Jon and Garfield go shopping for Christmas trees}
Jon: Excuse me while I kill my cat
Garfield: After you see the tree
Jon: If you eat this pie, I'm going to kill you
{Jon sits in a tipped over chair that Garfield has clawed}
Jon: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!
Garfield: You're too late
{Garfield is hanging on the curtains}
Jon: I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR LEGS IF YOU DON'T GET OFF THEM THIS INSTANCE!
{Garfield and Jon are inside a crater}
Garfield: That was fun! Blow it up again!
Jon: Kindly remove your foot from my nostril so that I may kill you
Jon: Get in the bag!
Garfield: I knew this would turn ugly
{Jon throws mashed potatoes in Garfield's face}
Jon: EAT MY MASHED POTATOES!
{Jon forcefully slams Garfield onto the table}
SFX: WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!
Jon: We're doing push-ups!
Garfield: NO!
{Jon throws water on Garfield, who is standing out in the rain}
SFX: GOOSH!
{Jon throws Garfield out a closed window. As the flashbacks end, the comic returns to color}
{Garfield approaches Jon}
{Garfield slaps Jon}
SFX: SMACK
Jon: I guess not
Garfield: I sleep to escape. I eat to escape...